This week at CityChurch we're in the middle of a series called Orange. It's all about seeing the church and family come together in a strategic partnership to see our kids become "fully devoted followers of Christ."

At the end of my sermon on 5.20.12 I challenged our people, especially our parents, to go home and develop a Family Purpose Statement.

• Start by having a conversation and getting input from the entire family.

• Figure out what specific things you are committing to as a family.

• Write out a purpose statement that sums up your goals as a family.

• How will your family be a part of serving others - making disciples?

• Celebrate your purpose statement. Talk about it, frame it, and find time to remind each other.

Click here to download a guide to help you begin developing your own Family Purpose Statement.

A few weeks ago my friend @brentkellogg gave me a few sermons from the 2011 New Spring Leadership Conference. Both sermons were so good I thought I'd share them.

• Mark Driscoll (click on sermon #11) - "Fighting for your family" or also entitled "We're all built to worship" - Personally, I've always wondered why we have idolized certain men throughout history for their spiritual insights or accomplishments when they were absolute failures as husbands & fathers. Mark addresses certain men like John Wesley & A.W. Tozer. Will you sacrifice your family for ministry?

• Jud Wilhite (click on sermon #10) - "The Roller Coaster of Ministry" - Certain events in your life help you refocus on what really matters. It's easy to get so caught up and discouraged in the day to day stuff of life that you miss the bigger picture of what God desires to do in you. Jud does a great job of being open and real.

If you really enjoy tough conversations then that's just plain weird! My heart still starts beating fast right before I dive into the last 10% of a conversation. The part you would much rather avoid. It's like the feeling of a free fall after you jump off a cliff.

Years ago I can remember listening to Bill Hybels in one of his Leadership Summit podcasts talk about the importance of the last 10%. I tucked the thought away, never realizing how important that principle would become in my life. Most people have no problem safely exposing and addressing the first 90% of something; it's safe and relatively non-controversial. It's the last 10% that you don't want to say or that could elicit an awkward or difficult conversation that we shy away from.

Years ago I began applying the 10% principle in all areas of my life and relationships. In my deepest, closest relationships you could even say that I began going the last 2%. It's rarely easy, but in hindsight I've never regretted going the last 10%.

The benefits of being a "last 10% person":

1) Most of the time the real clarity and breakthrough comes in the 10% (i.e. marriage issue, staff, broken relationships, an employee/boss, etc.) 

2) In the long run, everyone respects the person, boss, spouse, or friend who is willing to say the last 10% - "thanks for being completely honest with me" 

3) An organization/business that is willing to deal with the last 10% (or 5% or 2%) creates an environment of trust, authenticity, and advancement that is healthy 

4) If you learn to continually operate in the last 10% with others you bring incredible depth to your relationships with others 

5) Many times the last 10% is an issue of maturity. Don't jump around your whole life from scenario to scenario avoiding the last 10% - deal with it

6) Here's the truth - the last 10% is rarely easy to hear/receive. You willingly invite discomfort in your life for the benefits of growth, depth, and advancement - to me it's worth the tradeoff!

Can you think of any other benefits you've seen with being a last 10% person?

Romans 12 tells us to "offer our bodies as living sacrifices" and to continually "be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Why? Because peace, love, sacrifice, holiness, etc. isn't our natural default. It takes us daily dying to ourselves, taking up our cross, and choosing His way over ours.

• There is no substitute for time with God. What you think about will determine who/what you will serve? Thoughts determine behavior.
• We can't live a life of true freedom in Christ on occasional experiences. We must experience Him, even in little ways, every single day.
• This concept may not seem "spiritual" to some, but it couldn't be more spiritual. You have to constantly create pathways for the Holy Spirit, not the flesh, to reign in your life.

Thoughts, quotes, & videos from the past few weeks:

• My blog got a much needed facelift. Thanks to my good friend: @pgraddy

• Here's a great video on giving we used a few weeks ago in service -  "The Parable of Bob" 

• Simple, yet profoud. 5 ways to make your kids hate church

• One of my favorite places on the planet: Gardner's Used Book Store in Tulsa (see pic) Row after row of this!!!

• Love this quote....RT @b_rewster: "Courage is fear that has said its prayers." -Dorothy Bernard

• I haven't tried this yet but I'm considering it. They read the books, give you summaries, and help you determine what books are worth your time & attention. If time is money then this is worth it. https://www.studyleadership.com/

• In honor of my Thunder sweeping the Mavs here's some thoughts from Mark Cuban that make you think: Don't follow your passion, follow your effort.

• We started an awesome partnership with Mission of Mercy this week in Honduras! Excited about the future & the potential.

The Question: Are you a "watcher" or an "experiencer" of God's presence?

You can see it throughout the Old Testament. The Israelites had a tendency to watch their leaders experience God's presence while they stood at a distance and watched. (Exodus 33:8) Do you watch or are you passionately pursuing God's presence in your life?

The Problem: We have plenty of things that fill our lives.

The average American spends 2 hours a week on facebook and nearly 30 hours watching TV. That leaves _________ time in God's presence. Without time with the Father how will we be changed, transformed, and molded into the image of Christ? God's presence is the difference maker.

The Only Solution: Time with Jesus.

There are no substitutes. You want to go deeper, spend time with Jesus. You want to live a life that matters, spend time with Jesus. You want to experience life to the fullest, spend time with Jesus. You want to know where you'll be or what you should be doing, spend time with Jesus.

Our Prayer: Learning from Moses.

In Exodus 33 you see Moses in one of his greatest leadership moves of all time. He's asking all the right questions: God, will you teach me your ways so I can lead these people? God, will your presence go with us and distinguish us from all other nations? God, will you reveal yourself (your presence) to me on a completely new level? Those are the prayers of a leader who understands the importance of God's presence.

5 things to do in the Land of Obscurity....

(a continuation from "The Land of Obscurity Part I")

So, what's your back story? Every so-called "success" in life has one of these. It's not always sexy and rarely is it front page material. In fact, it's usually defined by words such as perseverance, development, and process. I know, words we all love.

Welcome to the "land of obscurity." The place void of all spotlights. It tests your motives, your character, and your perseverance. So what will you do in the land of obscurity?

5. Learn to listen.

Ever wonder why you have two ears and only one mouth? Figure it out. Learn to be a good listener and subsequently a good learner.

4. Wholeheartedly serve people right where you're at.

Don't live so consumed in the "land of tomorrow" that you don't serve, love, give 100% today. You can't just flip that switch on one day.

3. Attach yourself to great people.

You never outgrow needing mentors. Find (hunt down, pursue, stalk, hound) people who are going where you want to go and become a follower.

2. Do the little things with excellence.

It's pretty simple. Doing the little things with excellence trickles into every other area (i.e. follow through, be on time, go above and beyond, be accountable, finances, etc.)

1. Develop your core values.

These values shape your life and your future. Either figure out what you value or life/others will shape them for you.

When all the spotlights are off…

Nobody dreams of obscurity. Ask a child, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Rarely will you ever hear them say, "I want to be unknown, unimportant, and inconspicuous." Talk to a kid on the high school football team and not too often will he say, "I hope to ride the bench my entire career if at all possible." 

Quite the contrary, most people want to do something great, something noteworthy, something that others will look and say, "that person is a success." Whether you have a personal drive to succeed or expectations placed on you by others, most of us would agree that we have a deep inward desire to achieve.

When success is the end result most people will do whatever it takes to get there. They look for the next job opening, internship, degree, business partnership, shortcut, etc. Whatever it takes to catapult them to that next place in life.

Success, however, is an elusive term. It's elusive in that there is no benchmark to adequately define it and it when it is defined it's usually done by others around you. Not only is success elusive it's also extremely addictive. When you crave it, it can easily become the center of your entire existence. It becomes an endless, uncelebrated pursuit of something that was elusive and indefinable from the beginning. ]]> Tue, 17 Jan 2012 15:59:02 +0000 http://thinkingdisciples.com/blog/show/dream-assassins--4-quick-ways-to-kill-a-dream

“You can be whatever you want to be. Dream big.” When is the last time you heard those words?  The chances are you were a kid.  We don’t say that to adults.

People who believe that are naive and just downright unrealistic. I mean, not everyone can be the President of the United States. Not just anyone can find the cure to cancer, right?

In fact, if we’re honest most people don’t like other people who are dreamers. We don’t always like people who combat the status quo or infringe on our comfort zones. Why? Because quite honestly we probably have dreams that we’ve already given up on and we feel guilty.

We live in a world where people start out with big dreams but they’re soon derailed by problems, pain, broken relationships, life, etc. Our dreams turn into unrealistic fantasies and the pursuit of what can be is traded for the reality of the “right now.” Our dreams get shelved for another time, another day, and another place never to be picked up again.

For most of us there is something deep in our heart that pulls at us. If you don’t know what those things are then ask yourself these questions: What would you do if money were not a factor? What would you pursue if you knew you couldn’t fail? What is that cause, people group, or idea that you always think, “Why hasn’t anyone done something about that?” More than likely what emerges is a God-given dream.

How many people today get the opportunity to see even a glimpse of their dream become a reality? I would argue very few, but why?

Maybe because our dreams get killed along the way by one of these assassins...

Dream Assassin #1: Tell your dream to whoever will listen.

I learned this the hard way. I grew up loving to write. Eventually I thought I might even pursue this writing gig one day. I had written something I was particularly proud of and decided to give it to an acquaintance who was both an editor and well-respected writer. She read it and returned it to me with corrections and comments that might have well said, “Just stop writing and wasting your time.” It was neither constructive nor beneficial criticism

I learned my lesson. Don’t just share your dream with anyone and especially with someone who doesn’t truly care about your growth and development. I probably questioned my abilities for at least a year after than encounter. If you share it too early or with the wrong person it could potentially sabotage or derail your dream forever.

Dream Assassin #2: Wait until everything is perfect.

Guess what? If you’re waiting around for the stars align before pursuing your dream then you better get comfortable. So many people fail to step out and begin the pursuit because they need one more degree, they need to get past a certain stage in life, or all the pieces aren’t in the perfect order. More than likely even if your dream is years from reality there is something you can pursue or prepare for today.

Dream Assassin #3: Pursue your dream alone.

Maybe it’s possible but I don’t think I’ve ever seen it done. When I think back to the greatest innovators and leaders of our era there were always key individuals that surrounded them. The late Steve Jobs, who will go down as one of the greatest innovators of our time, may have actually been best at getting the right people around the table than he was at actually developing amazing products.

Who will partner with you to see your dream become a reality? In the trials and opposition that you will inevitably face who will be a source of strength and encouragement in your life? Seek out individuals, partners, mentors, colleagues who are committed to you and your dream.

Dream Assassin #4: Interpret roadblocks as a sign.

This sounds pretty simple but it’s by far the number one reason why dreams are never realized. We face roadblocks or a series of obstacles and think to ourselves, “I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.” Quite the contrary, instead, you should think to yourself “this dream must be something special.”

We know obstacles will come but for some reason we don’t prepare ourselves to persevere through them. Any runner in a marathon knows that the dreaded “runner’s wall” will hit them at some time during the race. It may be mile 19 or 20 but regardless it is downright agonizing. You have to grit your teeth, endure the pain, and just persevere. Our dreams are no different.

I have no idea what you’re dream may be. It may be for your family, your career, for a non-profit, or to tackle a social justice issue. Regardless, it will take you navigating these assassins and developing a personal resolve to persevere regardless of the circumstances. I pray that you dream big and that you never settle.   

Over the past 2 years CityChurch has been a part of planting seeds of the gospel throughout our city. We've partnered with organizations, churches, and businesses for projects such as...

• Crisis Pregnancy Outreach
• Tulsa Boys Home
• Filling the Void - feeding the homeless
• Wright Elementary (events & mentoring)
• Brookside Events (clean up, parades, kids events)
• Mowing yards
• Projects for widows & the elderly
• 111 Project (foster care initiative)
• Tulsa Hope Academy
• Laura Dester Emergency Children's Shelter
• Etc, etc.

On Sunday, October 2nd we won't have service, at least not service as usual. Our entire church will gather at 9:30am and then disperse throughout our city to work on 13 different projects.  It's our hope and desire that through these acts of love and service doors will be opened to share the love of Christ and that our city will never be the same.

WE ARE GOING TO BE THE CHURCH, NOT JUST GO TO CHURCH.

We've got 13 different projects happening that day.  We could use your help.  To sign up click on the link below and let us know which project you want to be a part of. Let's continue to see a city transformed by Christ by continuing to plant seeds of the gospel in our city!

Childcare provided that day at the Tulsa Ballet from 9am-1pm.

Love Tulsa Sunday ends with a party in downtown Tulsa that evening at 4:30pm with live music, food, and stories of what God is doing in our city.

http://citychurchtulsa.com/love-tulsa/serve